My life as I see it

Bad Teacher!!

2011-09-22T20:18:00.002+08:00

I watched Bad Teacher yesterday. It was not bad...entertaining...funny and sexyyyyy!!! The movie makes me fall in love with Jason Segel...:)

Trial SPM 2011

2011-09-08T12:39:00.002+08:00

Today the students sat for English paper 1 and 2. Paper 1 has several terms that the students might not understand. For paper 2 i was a bit disappointed with the novel questions..

Umaid Bhawan, Jaipur

2011-05-10T14:16:00.001+08:00

This picture was taken at Umaid Bhawan Heritage Hotel in Jaipur, India.

New directions

2010-10-19T12:18:00.003+08:00

It has been ages since I last blog. I got my transfer to Perak in June. Sek Men Teknik Ipoh to be exact. At first I thought that the students would be great but they're not. They listen better but still lazy. They are lots of things on my mind but somehow I cant materialize any one of them. I need to stop daydreaming and really get into action.

Lunch!!!!

2010-04-23T10:56:00.002+08:00

I have a lunch date today with my friends from school. Still dont know where to go but I hope to eat something healthy and wonderful at the same time. Went to my gynae last week. Another scan...another blood test and the doc still dont know whats wrong with me. Maybe theres nothing wrong with me. maybe its just my crazy hormones screaming for a man.....hahahahaha. Well, I should pressure my BF to marry me....:) Honey, marry me already!!!!

The cousins and The zoo outing

2010-03-10T12:02:00.003+08:00

I'm still learning....:)

Canon EOS 1000D

2010-03-08T12:54:00.002+08:00

The pictures of my cousin sister in my last post was taken with canon eos1000D. Just bought the camera last Friday. Had the most amazing photo shoot on Saturday during my cousin's sports day where I took pictures of her cheerios wanabe. Will upload the photos soon. We also went to the zoo that day and took some cute photos of the animals.

my sister

2010-03-06T00:58:00.002+08:00

20s

2010-02-23T22:19:00.003+08:00

I've just finished Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella. The story was amazing. Makes me want to know more about the 20s. I love Sadie, the demanding, no-nonsense type of girl who was actually the core of this story. How she relentlessly tormented her niece, Lara of finding the unique necklace and also get her a date with the most handsome man. And the best part was Sadie just died of stroke and she came to Lara as a ghost. She was Lara's great aunt who lived almost all her life not knowing that there was somebody out there who loved her till the end. I simply love the ending.

How to stay happy?

2010-02-09T12:09:00.002+08:00

How to stay happy:-
1. Mind your own business
2. Do what you think is right
3. Be yourself
4. Accept criticism with open heart
5. Stay in touch with your loved ones
6. Listen to your favorite music
7. Smile always
easier said than done....:)

Another year...

2009-12-29T21:50:00.002+08:00

What a month I had. I was so busy with the exam papers that there are lot of things that I've missed out. Blogging for example. Not that I'm a frequent blogger but still...hehehe. So what happened this last four weeks? I went to a book fest where all books were mark down and spend almost 300 on books. I'm addicted to books and the best part is I don't have the time to read any of it yet. I need more TIME!!!! And I watched Avatar twice. Love the movie. I also watched Alvin and The Chipmunks 2 with my little cousins. Love that movie too...:) Well thats all I think besides than the hectic days of examining and marking of course...AARRRGGGHHHH

New Moon

2009-12-01T19:57:00.004+08:00

Watched the movie with my cousins and sister last Saturday. I think the movie is better than twilight. Jake is so hot, Edward is being his pretty self as usual, Bella shows more emotion that I almost felt her pain and the Volturi are pretty amazing and like what I've imagined. The only thing that disturbs me is the make up...too heavy on the make up department for the vamps...I told my sister that maybe the ancient the vamps are, the paler they'll get...hehehe...:)

Happy Holidays!!!

2009-11-20T09:40:00.001+08:00

Happy holidays everyone! Today is the last day of school. I am so excited to begin my long rest before the school reopens on 4th January 2010. I don't have any plans but something might come up spontaneously and I will just follow my instincts. I'm looking forward to my cousin's wedding on 25th December. To meet up with my relatives...catch up on their latest news and gossips...:)

Life is so unfair...or is it?

2009-11-08T22:11:00.002+08:00

sometimes I think that life plays trick on us...really? Or it's just us human who really detest life and start to complain and nag about how life treats us unfairly? We have choices to make, everyday in our life and that choices we made, make us who we are later in life. I try so hard to be a better person but actually, I don't really have to. I make excuses for those dear to me every time others ask why they acted that way. I hide all their flaws and try to make them better in other people's eyes. I try to take care of them and take care not to hurt them but what I got back was hurtful words thrown at me for not trying hard enough. Is that ok? I don't think so. I had enough. The biggest changes that I have to make is to not care what other people think. Because I had enough of taking the blame thing. Enough of saying sorry all the time for someone else's fault. I had enough!

500 days of Summer

2009-11-06T22:36:00.004+08:00

Love is really something subjective. But it is a feeling that we cant deny. Without it we will feel lonely but sometimes because of it we will get hurt. I watched 500days of summer yesterday. I really hated Summer for being so inconsiderate and heartless. And also vicious. Poor poor Tom. I wish my boyfriend is more like Tom. He's really trying really hard to please Summer. I also think that relationship should have labels, to know where we stand. Its either here or there. To know that we can be there for each other. To wake up every morning and knowing that there is somebody beside us to hold on to. But Summer was right about one thing, if we are not sure about our feelings for that person why stay? be with somebody that we love and not because of circumstances. I think what happened in our life was already designed for us by our Creator. Thats what we call Fate. Anyway, I like that movie and I cried when Tom went to Summer's party without knowing that it was Summer's engagement party. It was heartbreaking. And I like it when Tom finally found his true calling...being an architect.

Time is chasing us

2009-10-27T19:55:00.002+08:00

It's going to be the end of the school term in three weeks time and I stil got a lot to do. I am always terrible at time management. But, luckily I always manage to do it all in time. Well, the thing is I always procrastinate. Waiting for the last minute to finish my work. I know that is not wise and I will end up in piles of work above my head. But, the last minute work is always the best(in my case). I still think that I should improve on that. As I am getting older, the stress of the workload will eventually lead me to health issues. Well, whatever it is, I still have to do my work...:)

Facebook

2009-10-11T21:24:00.002+08:00

I am so hooked on Facebook nowadays. The best part is the friend finder. I found almost all my friends from University days. Its amazing to see them with their adorable kids and what they have been up to. Another good part is the games. I am so addicted to farmville, farmtown and lots. Maybe someday, when I'm tired of working in the city, I will go back to my hometown and be a sucessful farmer...heheheheh....

Happy Hari Raya...

2009-09-27T20:58:00.002+08:00

Hari Raya is a celebration of the moslem after one month of fasting. I had a pretty hectic hari raya. My family and I went to almost all our relatives house from last sunday until today...phew...tiring but at the same time wonderful. Its nice to see all my nephews and nieces all grown up. Will post some photos here soon!!!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

2009-09-13T21:38:00.002+08:00

I watched Oprah this afternoon and it was about the beauty of woman around the world and how they perceived it. Beauty is something subjective just like love. If we think we're pretty, then thats what we are and vice versa. Every single one of us ladies, should be proud and grateful for what we have. The inner beauty that we possess should bring the best in us and shine through. What intrigue me is that some woman from the other parts of this world really strive to be thin and slim like all the models and in some other part of the world, there are woman who are forced feed to be fat so that they will look desirable by their future husbands. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is true to its meaning. We just have to be comfortable in our own skin so that people can see how beautiful we are inside and out.

Just another day

2009-09-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

Finally I went to see my gynae about my PMS and the pain is gone...the miracle of modern medicine..:) Well, the best thing is I got medical leave for two days.Yippeee! Just have a thought thats been bugging me..if you lie to the person that you love because you love him, is that wrong?

The pain...

2009-09-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

My PMS is killing me...its been three days now but its still hurt...

Happy 52nd Independence Day!!!

2009-08-31T14:16:00.004+08:00

Today is my country 52nd independence day. Last night I watched this movie about how Malaysia got its independence. How our leaders fought to gain independence without a shed of blood and it was truly amazing. Those days, money were scarce, in order for Tunku Abdul Rahman and his delegates to go to England to discuss about the freedom of our nation, was by asking for help from all the Malaysians. It was a touching moment when all the woman gave their jeweleries and the man giving away their money. It was a pity when today's younger generations do not realize the hardship of our elders. All they do on the eve of Independence Day was partying and getting drunk and shout happy independence without even knowing the real meaning of being free. I hope that one day we will be truly free in our own way.

UP

2009-08-27T22:37:00.002+08:00

Watched up with my two excited cousins on its opening day. The movie is great. Great characters, superb storyline and full of messages and moral values. As a fan of Pixar, I would never miss any of its' animation movies. And Up is one of the coolest movie by them. Its not only funny but an emotional experience for me and the kids too. I saw my 10 year old cousin sister, cried when Ellie, the wife of Carl Fredricksen died of old age and couldn't fulfill her dreams of journeying to the Paradise Falls. Everyone should watch this as it is a whole lot more than a story about an old man with his flying house.

The Chalk Guy

2009-08-20T14:20:00.003+08:00

His arts are amazing. Check out few of his artworks.

H1N1

2009-08-17T16:26:00.002+08:00

I just got back from visiting my sister in Kuala Lumpur. She had a fever of 39 degree. Its quite high and was suspected of contracting the swine flu so we went there last Wednesday. Luckily after lots of check ups, she is free from the virus. To date, 61 victims of H1N1 in my country Malaysia died. It was a huge number compared to other countries. We all have to take our own precaution so that the virus will not spread. My school was closed for one week for quarantine propose.

Benjamin Button...

2009-08-11T21:02:00.002+08:00

A very curious case indeed. I watched the DVD yesterday. My mom was not around so I got the chance to watch dvd instead of the Asian Food Chanel that has been terrorize my TV set since January. It was indeed a curious case. The story really touched me. His father didn't accept him and he was raised by a total stanger with a kind heart. The story was a tearjerker especially in the end when Benjamin died.

Happy Birthday

2009-08-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

Happy BIrthday to me!!!...Today is my birthday and I wish that I could spend it with my loved one....:)

seven facts about me...

2009-08-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

1. I'm addicted to books...I would read anything...including the food wrapper :) I would sometimes buy books just because I have to buy something at Borders...love the smell of books..
2. I am a compulsive buyer...sometimes ...hmmm...most of the time...but not to the extend like Becky Bloomwood...:)
3. I love chicken especially the fried ones...actually I need to cut on that!
4. My dad died when I was 9 years old. My mother never remarries and it was amazing how my mom brought me and my sister up...I didn't remember my father much...is that terrible?
5. I love writing...even though I'm not really good at it but I still considers it as my hobby.I wish I could be a writer somebody (wishful thinking...hehehe)
6. I'm also a movie junkie. I would watch back to back movies...like all three of Lord of The Rings in one go....I buy lots of dvds and watch The Wedding Planner for the 40th time...:)
7. I'm lazy...I'm always delaying my work...I need to work on that. But sometimes, those last minute works were the best. Just like my assignments during my college days..(miss those days)...

My Cats...Lola, Bobby and Moony

2009-07-30T11:07:00.002+08:00

Leverage

2009-07-28T14:46:00.003+08:00

Get ready to get even. We provide you leverage. I simply love this series, its plot, and the characters. They are super cool and funny too. Sometimes their sarcastic jokes just threw you off the couch. I took this quiz in their website and I am like Nathan Ford :-

You’re the brains--smart, logical, and not afraid to show it. Pulling off a heist doesn’t have to be brain surgery, but you treat planning one as such just to make sure every detail is set. Even though you don’t help out at the scene itself, your crew respects you, nonetheless. Sniffing out snags and keeping the state pen out of the picture earns you that kind of appreciation. Yes, life’s good on the sidelines, especially if things go south quickly. After all, ideas can’t get you arrested, right?

Mad House

2009-07-28T13:49:00.002+08:00

Watched House last week made me think about suicide. Kutner killed himself out of the blue. A pretty lame reason for leaving the show but at the same time, makes me wonder about those who had chosen suicide as the answer to solve their problems. At first I was a bit skeptical about the suicide matter but I was once suicidal too. Not to the extreme of trying it but just thinking about it. That is the first sign of depression. I was so depressed with my life, with my personal indulgence, with my sins and all the things that I was not supposed to think. I hated my life at that moment and still do sometimes. I was in a total mess but I pulled myself up, ignore those problems for a while, taking it one step at a time and find ways to make myself happy. In the end I still could not see the end of the rainbow but I managed somehow with divine intervention that is to make it through as always...

Rab ne bana di jodi

2009-06-15T13:34:00.003+08:00

One of the charming and amazing movies by Chopra. I love the music, the story and of course the actor, Shah Rukh Khan. This movie received mix reviews but mostly they said that it was a flop at the box office. Whatever it is, I still think that it was a great movie. I just adored the songs and their dance moves.

Night at the Museum 2

2009-05-26T13:52:00.003+08:00

Hilarious , amazing and entertaining. Three words to describe one of the most entertaining movie this year. The characters were amazingly funny and I personally like Amelia Earhart and Mr. Abe Lincoln...:). A must watch!!

Xmen Mania

2009-05-09T00:13:00.003+08:00

The coolest movie that I've watched so far this year. A great performance by Hugh Jackman. Cool effects and movements. Simply adore Gambit and of course the young Cyclop...:) A stunning act by Ryan Reynolds as deadpool...never thought he could be that tough and cool at the same time.

Kuching, Sarawak...Cat City...:)

2009-03-24T11:09:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentines Day!!

2009-02-14T20:24:00.002+08:00

Ghajini

2009-02-08T20:18:00.003+08:00

Just finished watching Ghajini. Awesome movie...great actors...cool fight scenes and most importantly Amir Khan's performance..superb and like the said mind blowing. I've been meaning to watch the movie since its' release two months ago but didn't get the chance so I just wait for the DVD to come out. The story revolves around Sanjay a rich handsome bachelor who has a short term memory loss (reminds me of Dori) because of a forceful blow on his head. At first its like a cliche hindi love story but this one is totally different. This film is actually a remake of a kollywood movie. Some said that the tamil movie is better than hindi. Put that aside, I still think its a good movie.

pictures of my recent holidays

2009-02-03T14:59:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-05T20:15:00.002+08:00

Another year...another number to add...:).. Wish all my blogger friends Happy New Year and have a great year ahead!! Just got back from a long vacation that really occupied my time. Couldn't even check my email. Will update on my vacation soon. Right now I really need to clear my emails!

more pics...

2008-11-11T09:57:00.003+08:00

The first picture is my two beloved sisters hanging out at QB. Second pic is my cousin Aiman. Adorable kid with no upper teeth...:) Cutey!

The many faces of Eshal

2008-10-28T21:06:00.002+08:00

My new car

2008-10-09T13:12:00.002+08:00

Got my car on Monday 29th September....nice...:). After so many years using public transport I actually had my own car..love it...the best part is, its automatic...no more stopping in the middle of the road...

2008-09-16T21:39:00.004+08:00

Watched House season 4 finale last night. Why does season finale has to be sad? Amber died because of flu pills that she took. The accident caused her kidneys to fail functioning and thats why the pills that were supposed to cure her of her flu killed her instead. It was frightening when she was actually dead on the ambulance to the hospital. Nothing could safe her even House's diagnose would do no good. The affair that everyone thought happened between House and Amber was just a friction of House's halucination. Nothing happened between them and that makes it more heart wrenching. The end makes me cry when Wilson went back to his apartment and saw the note from Amber on the bed. "Sorry I'm not here, went to pick up House". Can't wait to watch season 5.

Jodi Picoult

2008-09-11T12:53:00.004+08:00

One of my favorite author is Jodi Picoult. I just finished reading Keeping Faith yesterday. She really knows how to tackle her audiences with hot sometimes forbidden issue revolves in families. I especially love My Sister's Keeper. A child suing her parents for using her to treat her elder sister. It was intriguing and interesting. It is impossible not to be spellbound by her writings that forces us to think very hard about some issues that we sometimes wouldn't even touch. I've read Second Glances, The Pact, Keeping Faith and My Sister's Keeper. I'm planning to buy her new one Change of Heart.

Busyyyy

2008-09-07T15:48:00.003+08:00

I had a very hectic months...been busy with work and family matters. But between all the hectic and busy schedules I managed to read a few good books. My favorite is Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. The last of its hit series. I wish she can write more about the Cullens, but I love the ending. A perfect ending! I laugh out loud when I read about Jacob's imprints on Nessie. Surely didn't see that coming...:) Two thumbs up for Miss Meyer...

The power of imagination

2008-06-23T14:49:00.003+08:00

Watched Kung Fu Panda with my friend, Jijah last Saturday at Queensbay. Hilarious, funny, adorable and inspiring. The animation was awesome and the martial arts were fabulous. For a cartoon character at least...:) I love Po so much. He was so funny and naive sometimes. I could almost see Jack Black doing all those tricks...:) I really love it even the reviews are not so supportive of it. I really think that this movie is fun to watch. The power of imagination and believe in yourself are not cliche. if thats what everybody thinks. Its actually good for children to boost their self confidence and self esteem. LOVE it too bits!!!

hot days

2008-06-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

I'm in the middle of English class with the KE. It is so hot and humid. Almost
no wind to cool off the climate. I could almost see the glare of the sun high up above.
Its been days since we last saw rain. I just wish that rain will come soon.

keep moving forward

2008-06-10T14:11:00.002+08:00

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. - Walt Disney. I watched Meet The Robinsons last week with my cousin brother. He wants to watch the movie but I told him that it was not that funny but he insists on it. I'm glad that he did. It was a good animation movie. The message that the writer tries to instill in us all. Keep moving forward. Its true, we can't always look back and regret. We should do something to rectify our mistakes and move forward to new paths that awaits us. The twists and turns of fate may bring us something that we hope for.

my mom's family

2008-05-27T14:35:00.003+08:00

This is my mom's family. This was about 40 years ago. My mom is 68 now and my grandparents passed away few years back. I missed them so much. They were like a pillar of strength to me, my sister and my mom when dad passed away. We were heartbroken when he died. I was 9 and my sister was 6. The only family we had, was my grandparents and also my aunts and uncles. Love em all...:)

Everyday in a life of a misery human being

2008-05-08T10:43:00.002+08:00

Everyday is the same. Monotonous. Dull.Everyday is like walking through a dead world in my waking hours. At night I dream about being with you. During the day, I walk in your shadows. Trying to catch a glimpse of you in the pools of my tears. I try really hard to convince everyone. Even myself of you. What you could be. Who you really are. But they're not convinced and now I start to have doubts. Doubts that can only be mend with your presence. Right now all I want is to be held in your arms and forget about all my troubles and to wash away all the doubts that has been bugging me. I crave for you and wanted so much to be with you. I miss you so much. So very much...

my latest muse...

2008-05-07T13:49:00.003+08:00

Lots had happened these past few months. Last month was my most depressed month. Well,lots to tell but I don't want to dwell in it any longer than I intend too so just leave it at that. My sister started working at Scope last Monday. A huge relieve on my side. Hope that she finds what she looks for all these while. As for me I will always be here...swallowing all the sadness and misery on my own...nursing my broken heart...try to find all the missing pieces bit by bit...hard work but must be done. I don't want to be among the living dead...stone cold...heartless human being.

Taare Zameen Par

2008-04-02T11:51:00.003+08:00

One of the best movie to open 2008. It really touches my heart and open up my eyes to the mysteries of the world around us. The uniqueness of a child and the special attention they need, to be understand and to understand. This movie brings out the best of Aamir. His first directorial debut really pays off as it hit blockbuster list. I really love this movie as it contains a lot of emotional scene and dialogue and also good lyrics.

Juno

2008-03-16T18:09:00.002+08:00

Watched Juno with my sister just now. At first we were skeptical about that movie. My sister actually...:) I always love indie movie. Well, Juno is a good movie. A coming out of age movie, sarcastic yet entertaining. The reality of falling in love and out of it. We can see Juno, falling in love with her best friend, even got pregnant by him and we can see Vanessa and Mark, a couple who does not have children after years of marriage, falling out of love. I simply love the ending of the story. Michael Cera and Ellen Page, a very cute couple.

my adorable abang

2008-02-27T14:20:00.002+08:00

I love you so much...no matter what other people say...sometimes I wish that they understand us as we are. Sometimes I wish that they can open their heart to accept our flaws and able to forgive us for our mistakes as nobody in this world is perfect except for the Almighty and our beloved prophets. We are just mere mortals. We can't run away from making mistakes...

Jumper

2008-02-19T22:11:00.003+08:00

Watched jumper last weekend with my sister. First time for me and second for her. Just because Hayden is so handsome, she didn't mind watching it again and go ooohhh and aaahhh over him...:). This story is about a young man name David who can teleports himself anywhere at will. Obviously one of those genetic anomaly thing just like Nightcrawler. He discovers this gift has existed for centuries and finds himself in a war that has been raging for thousands of years between 'jumpers' and those who have sworn to kill them. Hayden's acting improved a lot in this movie...I still love him in Star Wars even though many people said that he can't act. But he did improve a lot. I really enjoy the movie. Full speed and full of action. Wish I have that genetic anomaly...:)..Samuel L. Jackson, said that only God can be everywhere and have that power, so thats why he hunts and kills all the jumpers he can. But don't you think that it is God who made them that way...if ever such anomaly exist...:)

Movies to look out this year

2008-01-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

There are few movies that I cant wait to watch :

Eh! Wat Yu Talking?

2008-01-16T13:21:00.000+08:00

I came across one of the most funniest and cynical book I've ever read. Not that I read many. But this book really shows how a simple minded person can really be philasophical enough to be noticed and admired. However I found one or two of the stories quite silly and shows how dimwitted malays can be. Nevertheless it is still a good book to read if you love sarcasm jokes. I quote one of the story:

" Someone asked, "Pak Pandir, why do people go in different directions when they leave their houses in the morning?" Pak Pandir answered without hesitation,"If all of them were to go in the same direction, the balance of the world would be thrown off!"

Family Issues

2008-01-14T19:30:00.001+08:00

Family is a unit that should have honesty, cooperation, responsibility and also discretion. All the things happen within the family should stay within the family. If the walks could talk, my family would made it to the silver screen or at least in one of those Mexican telenovella. There are lots of stories to tell and many of those were swept under the carpet. Lies were told as often as we drink. Truth were barely laid out in the open. Rumors were widely spread within the family. All these for what? For what? For being hurt? Laughing at other people's weakness? This is one really cruel world. People take things for granted. Really take things for granted and they never said thank you!

Peaceful

2008-01-14T12:30:00.000+08:00

I went to Pulau Aman last week to join a motivational camp for my school's prefect. I never been there. When I was there, I was dumbstruck by the peacefulness of the island. It is a small island with total population 280. It has only one school and one clinic. It is a fisherman village as 95% of the residents are fisherman. Now I know how it gets its name. Aman is peaceful in Malay Language.

Cuties!

2008-01-10T14:28:00.000+08:00

new year resolution!!

2008-01-06T13:28:00.000+08:00

Every year we renew our resolutions. But do we ever follow each and every one of it? Maybe some of us did. And some of us might not even remember any of it. As for me, I don't really have any resolutions. I wanted to but I am just too scared to commit to it. It is just one of my paranoia. Actually, we don't have to wait for a new year to turn into a new leaf and start a new life. We can do it in the middle of the year if we feel the urge to do it. Why wait. Why do we always procrastinate? Why do we always use 'There is always tomorrow?' We don't know what tomorrow held for us. What if we die tomorrow and will never get the chance to change. Never get the chance to do something good. Never get the chance to rectify our mistakes. I always do that. I always wait for tomorrow. That is the habit that I can't break. I really wish that I have the guts and determination to change that. It really gets on my nerve all the time. This year all I want is to have a healthier lifestyle and also to achieve a good and better relationship with my family and my beloved. I wanted to have the balance in life. To be able to teach more effectively and be more diligent. To improve my students grades and to make them grasp the importance of education in life. To show them how much they worth and how far they can go with enough knowledge. I just wish that they will be more ready to change and embrace the changes to be a better person.

To be loved...

2007-12-24T18:58:00.000+08:00

Its been the most hectic month for me. I didn't expect it would be like this. How wrong I was. The worst year in my life and a most tormenting one. Lots of conflicts, misjudge, misinterpret, misunderstanding and lots of pressures. A tinge of depression and a mix of unspoken hurtful feelings. Mostly by the ones I love the most. My family and the man I love. However bad it was, as always I managed to get by. I always do. Somehow. Hope that next year will bring me happiness that I have sought for so long. A balance. Physically and emotionally. There is this one catchy dialogue between Iris and Miles in The Holiday that I love "I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade". Wel I just hope that all of it will fade away...

Fly Away

2007-12-11T00:15:00.001+08:00

I wish I can fly away. Leaving everything behind and start over in a new place with new identity. But here I am stuck here in this pirate island which I detest and hate so much. I wish I can join the flock of geese as they flew south in summer and come back home when the weather is more like it. I wish I can be like a bear. Hibernate for months and months without any idea what happen in this crazy world. I wish that people will appreciate me more even when I'm gone.

10 things i hate most about you

2007-12-06T14:01:00.000+08:00

I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
I hate it when you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
and it even make me rhyme
I hate the way you always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
not even close...
not even a little...
not even at all...

Coraline

2007-11-13T09:40:00.001+08:00

Coraline...a weird way to spell a name and quite odd but interesting story too. I've read one of Neil's work couple of years back which is American Gods and its fascinating but again weird. This story is freaky and also amusing at the same time. Not a very good bedtime story though...:) This story is about Coraline who just moved to an old house turned apartment with her easy going funny parents. Upstairs resided an old man who train mouse(who keeps calling Coraline as Caroline) and next door, two old sisters who were famous in the past for their theater roles. Coraline loves adventure and likes to roam around the house. One day, when Coraline steps through a door to find another house strangely similar to her own (only better), things seem marvelous. But there's another mother there, and another father, and they want her to stay and be their little girl and they have buttons for their eyes(freaky). They want to change her and never let her go. Coraline will have to fight with all her wits and courage if she is to save herself and return to her ordinary life. I really admire Coraline, she is so determined, witty and courageous. Not afraid of the evil other mother and can really look after herself.

Who really care?

2007-10-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

We make them cry who care for us.
We cry for those who never care for us.
And we care for those who will never cry for us.
This is the truth of life
Its strange but true
once you realise this
Its never to late to change.

Happy Eid Mubarak

2007-10-23T16:13:00.002+08:00

It supposed to be a joyful celebration, but in the midst of it were something that I didn't expect. As a family we should stand united or we will crumble. As a daughter we should listen to our mothers and fathers and aunts and uncles. For me its another event that I try to avoid but as a daughter I have to oblige. Dutifully. Here I am pretending to be happy yet at the same time hurting. And there they are trying their best to hide the truth from other people's eyes. As I said this was supposed to be a joyful event. More or less I had put up with it. I had made up my mind. I will let it go. Forever. Anyway...Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir dan Batin!!

The end of fasting month

2007-10-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

Its now the end of fasting month. Another two days to go. It always amaze me how fast time goes by when you least expected it to be. I always thought that fasting month is the longest month. Maybe its due to the fact that we cant eat and drink for 14 hours. But the days didn't actually drag on like I think it would. And now, its almost the end. The month that I actually enjoy. The month that all Muslims should rejoice. Celebration is on soon. Actually, its been quite sometime that I feel the joy of celebrating Aidil Fitri. With both my grandparents not being here anymore, I didn't feel the heart to celebrate. Its just too dull and depressing without them. But as a true Muslims, we have to celebrate the success of our fasting month. So here I am, all prepared for the celebration. New clothes, new shoes, new bag and new ME! Hahaha....extreme spending!

Boringgggg!

2007-10-09T12:57:00.000+08:00

This is my friend Nor Azizah...aka Jijah...hehe..she said that she's bored today. Takde keje ke wei?...She is one of my good friends. The first day I step into this new world of most talented homo sapiens, I was not sure that it would be the right choice. After some time its kinda grew on me. But at times I do feel depressed and bored. The same face, the same attitude and the same food. Boringgggggg....

To be educated

2007-10-05T10:49:00.001+08:00

Education is one of the most vital things in life. Without it people will look down on us, without it people will not respect us and we might never achieved great things in life. Knowledge is indeed power. Even the stupidest human being need knowledge to live. Without it we will most likely ruin our life. This is what happen to teenagers nowadays. Where I live at least. Suburban area with lots of pressure and bad influences scattering around most readily to be pick up by the half wit teens. No doubt, at their age they are so easily influenced and so naive. Being a teacher nowadays is so tiring and sometimes frustrating. Pressured by the upper level to improved the stupidity of a student is not to be taken lightly. Especially when that particular student is so determined to have no life and no future. This is what happen here. In my own country. With my own people. My own race. We can only do so much. It is really up to them to change their own life.

We almost had it all

2007-10-04T10:31:00.000+08:00

Watch the final episode of Grey Anatomy's season 3 last night reminds me of many things happens in our life. The love that we lost, friends that are gone, the relationship that sink and might never surface and the most important thing, the choices we have made and the consequences that we have to face. Watching the doctors teach me something about life. Never ever judge a person by face value, be honest even though it hurts, lay down all your anguishes, emotions and differences open to your partner. Don't let people step all over you, make decision wisely and don't just follow your heart. Love your partner conditionally and do not compromise all the time.

Twilight series

2007-10-03T08:44:00.000+08:00

Reading the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer is quite refreshing even though the theme is actually cliche. Vampire's love story. About an ordinary girl who became the obsession of a hundred year old vampire ( well he looks like seventeen anyway). The storyline is simple but the author wrote it with emotions leaving the reader longed for more. I am always fascinated with vampire. Bloodsucker, night crawler few of many names given to them. It is an interesting story. Sweet and intoxicating. I'm now reading the third installment of the series. Eclipse. Amusing, suspense and agonizing at the same time.

silent treatment or silent killer?

2007-10-02T10:51:00.000+08:00

I am so confused sometimes. Even dumbstruck at what happened around me. One of my friends has been given me a silent treatment since last week. This is actually not the first time. It happened before and I still don't know what went wrong. Maybe its me. Friendship is something precious and hard to get. A long the way, things might happen to harm the beautiful friendship. The differences that we might overlook at first and the sarcastic remarks that we think before as jokes might reappear out of nowhere and haunt the friendship. Sometimes we didn't realize that we have hurt the people we love the most. Take things for granted and let it go without a care in the world. I've asked for forgiveness yesterday and she still like that. Well maybe with time she'll talk to me. It hurts but i can take it. As usual.

L-O-V-E

2007-09-26T12:08:00.000+08:00

L O V E...without it life will be so dull and miserable..it adds color to our life. The sweetest feeling that human beings can feel. LOVE!!

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore and love

It's all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

me myself and I

2007-09-23T01:54:00.000+08:00

My love for you is like a sugar coated candy
Without you my life would be bitter
My life would be meaningless without you
Dull, barren, depressing
Life is so full of surprises
Especially with you
My love for you knows no boundaries
endless till the end of time

My Abang and I

2007-09-11T16:12:00.001+08:00

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone. Only darkness everyday. Ain't no sunshine when he's gone and he's always gone too long everytime he goes away…Abang, I will always love you no matter what. I know sometimes I am always bugging you so much. Trying really hard to get your attention but I can't help it. Sorry for being a pain in the ass sometimes. I just love you so much...muaaahhhh

sad...sad story

2007-09-04T14:17:00.001+08:00

For the last couple of days I've been trying to finish this book but i cant seem to do it. Its just too sad. Its suppose to be funny but i found it rather sad. Its sad to know that it is hard to realize it when we were left alone in this world. Just like Anna who still believes that Aidan her husband is still out there alive but in truth he died in a car crash whereas Anna was saved. Sometimes I wonder how people get through this kind of tragedy involving the ones we love. It takes all the strength we have to keep our emotion at bay, to not overdo it, to keep calm and to swallow all the sadness. It takes all the courage inside us to keep the fear of being alone and lonely far away. But this story did teach me something. Family will always be around us no matter what and where.

My friend's wedding

2007-08-28T15:25:00.000+08:00

Life is so sweet and meaningful especially when we're with the one we love. Trust, caring, tolerance and love for each other will make your relationship strong and can help you battle anything that might come your way. Congratulation on your wedding Erny and Im. May you two live happily ever after!

2007-08-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

Love is the most curious thing. We can't live without it yet sometimes we feel so tortured and wish that we didn't have a heart so that we won't feel the sadness of being lonely. The emptiness inside us that is longing to be fulfilled scream out for those who can love us truthfully and honestly. Sometimes we meet the right person but sometimes we don't...all we can do is pray to Allah, God Almighty so that we can be at peace and found the right person to spend the rest of our life with...miss you abang!

2007-08-08T12:31:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to me...!!!..I am 29 this year..the end of my 20s. I am so horrifyingly unprepared. However hard it is to believe I know that I have to embrace it. There were lots of mistakes and regrets in the past that I don't want to think about anymore. I just want to live my life to the fullest, be stronger, to be able to resist the devils temptation and to find ways to marry my abang!!

2007-08-02T13:47:00.001+08:00

This is Toby (the white one) and Halu. Toby is an irritating cat. Hang around my sister all the time especially when he wants to eat. Halu is quite cool in the head. She just gave birth to 3 beautiful and also white kittens. Its a bit boring to have lots of white cats.

welcome to my world

2007-05-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Things arent always what it seems. I always thought that i would screw up all my life. But i'm wrong. Day by day I start to feel so much better about myself and my life. It is definitely hard to change, but with time we can.